honayhonay

2004-05-21T12:15:00.000-07:00

i'm back. fierce and mean and just a little soft. i really need to call that girl about boxing. i thot i was gonna close this thing out, but i need some advice.

how in the crazy world of carmensandiego do i keep cilantro fresh? everyday i pick at it before it turns into this congealed mass of eckgh. is tupperware seriously necessary? i keep it dry, i put it in the "crisper" (what a stoopid name), what more does it take?! words from the wise much needed here guys.

i got a new theme song. not really new, but it makes me happy. it's blur, song 2. i always remember this story ed told me of 3 kids singing it round&round in a circle at asucla store. love it.

Song 2
woohoowoohoowoohoowoohoo

i got my head checked by a jumbo jet
it wasn't easy but nothing is, no

woohoo when I feel heavy metal
woohoo, and i'm pins and i'm needles
woohoo, well i lie and i'm easy
all of the time but i'm never sure why i need you
pleased to meet you

i got my head down when i was young
it's not my problem it's not my problem

yeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeah
oh yeah

2004-03-19T09:51:00.000-08:00

when is enuf ENUF? that's what i've been wondering lately. i can't seem to get it straight in my head just exactly when it's healthier to quit and when it's better to hold on just for a lilbitmo. i didn't know it in lala when i "studied" cs for 3 years before finally realizing i wasn't gonna graduate. i didn't know it when don and i were "waiting" for much too long. i didn't know it at my last job when a coworker decided she didn't like me and wanted to make my life hell on earth. i didn't know it when i was living with my parents in a notso healthy environment for a girl of "16" to be as independent as her parents rasied her. mind you, i was actually 23. looking back, everything is 20.20 in hindsight. now i just hope i don't repeat the same mistakes. can i have 20.20 in the future too?

and the other thing is, are there levels of quitting? how far do you go to make yourself safe in a harmful situation? is it running away? or just being safe. is there such a thing as too safe? is it possible to even be safe? or just safe-er. varying degrees of safeness? so many questions, but no answers in 20.20 sight. fortunately i don't feel as i did in lala-like i was in a perpetual fog of some kind.

anyway, it's good to have theme songs. here's mine for the moment:
this love has taken its toll on me
she said goodbye too many times before
her/my heart is breaking in front of me
and i have no choice cuz i won't say goodbye anymore
maroon5, "this love"

this song is so fun and poppy, but it makes a good point. people make their choices. sometimes you have to make your choices based on someone else's choices. sometimes that someone else leaves you with no good choices left.

2004-03-10T19:45:00.000-08:00

i've had 2 suggestions for taking up boxing already. i think i should take it seriously! all this planning for the wedding is really crazy. i feel my stomach clench and my heart pierce with physical pain. strangely very much like heartache.

i know most people really look forward to the wedding day. it's marriage that everyone gets hushhush about. my coworkers, for my sake, won't offer their 2cents on their horrifying marriages. but it's exactly the wedding day that i'm *dreading*. esp the whole walking down the ailse part. all those people *staring*?! i've hated that since i was 10. so i better not catch any of you looking at me when i'm walking! haha, i'm such a paranoid freak.

on the other hand, being married to don is what truly excites me. starting our own family (of 2! at least for the next 20 years), making our own decisions, finally being *free* to do what we've dreamed and envisioned. it's my light at the end of the tunnel. four years of waiting and conquering challenges.

these last few months of longdistance-relationshipping, planning the bugger of a wedding, making difficult decisions, paying for said wedding...just more challenges to conquer. i will relish the day when it's over. but in the meantime...perhaps boxing will become my middle name. :)

ps. "married life is *FUN*!" - the lius, special guests last weekend, not to mention emichemi and angiebabe! :)

2004-03-04T12:09:00.000-08:00

things that make me cry: (other than my parents and the state of the world today) GREEN onions! when did this happen? has something happened to the genetic makeup of the green onions in cali to make them so potent? or is that a reflection of how often i cook? :P

2004-02-29T22:48:00.000-08:00

hi everyone! i know this is long past due. sorry for the delay. here goes the update to end all.

i've moved! yup, living on my own. same building, 2 painful flights up. i have a feeling i was too eager to be alone. i've developed this habit of thinking that everything moving in my peripheral vision is an ant that must be squashed! and living with plastic bags and duct tape for windows is not ideal. you pay for what you get. but i’m happy trying this out. I’ve never lived alonealone before.

i'm 25! i don't usually feel any different on birthdays. quite the opposite: it usually takes me about a year to remember that i've turned one year older, and then it's another round of trying to remember how old i am. but for some reason, this year i did feel a little different. i know i'm still young, but now i feel like i finally have the rights to my own person. i am not just my parents' daughter. (tho try convincing them of that.)

i'm thinking of quitting my job that i was so excited about just 5 months ago. it's really draining work. i was telling emichemi about some of the things my clients say to me. looking back, it's kinda humorous. but in the heat of the moment, it's just too much. one lady actually accused me of intentionally forcing her back into her addiction. that threw me for a week. meebe i haven't gotten over it. meebe it's not something to get over. so i'm learning a lot...just meebe not sure what i'm learning. in my 25 yr old mind i'm discovering how much i don't know and how much i just won't understand because of my youth.

i’m engaged! I almost can't believe it. don and I have been dating for 4 years, and now we're finally here! it's SO EXCITING. we're set for 9.18, but there's so much work to do. and you better believe how stressful it can be. I know we'll get thru this, but until then…ogod. I hope I can get thru it in a healthy way.

ok I think that's all I got for now. stay tuned! hopefully I will return speedily.

2003-12-18T22:51:00.000-08:00

i'm so sad that i don't have time to go online anymore. this coming from the girl who likes to check email at least every 15 minutes. cuz i'm crazy like that and cuz my yahoo account gets spammed to 7.0/6.0 mb daily. i'm gonna hafta shutdown my yahoo account. i'm bouncin like crazy.

but besides that, i'm severely detached from everyone cuz i haven't been keeping up with everyone's blogs. i didn't even know angiebabe was in hawaii! marisa called me stupid and pointed to the icon that says "destination: hawaii december 2003" that's been up for a year. i felt really bad. sorry everyone! :(

2003-12-08T22:51:00.000-08:00

citation: $30
vehicle release fee: $50 (cash only to the opd-those pigs)
towing fee: $88.40
storage fee for 5 days: $147.50
lien fee (what is this anyway?!): $50

price for parking while deliriously sick and bedridden for 2 days while unbeknownst to you, your precious honayhonay is being towed: $365.90

2003-11-06T16:50:00.000-08:00

this is the coolest thing EVER. i even tried it while i watched it. it's the best way to save 8 seconds. take charge of your life! get those 8 seconds back! take em with a vengeance. :)

ps. you hafta dl or have highspeed

2003-11-04T17:59:00.000-08:00

has anyone else realized this?

don and i are gonna go see the revolution will not be televised tonight. it's a movie about how the president elect hugo chavez of venezuela was forcibly removed from power on april 12, 2002 with the aid of us forces. it's comes with many goseeit urgings and neverbeforeseen footage, hence the name.

i was gonna sneak in my chips (btw, lay's "og" stax are just as good as pringles, but what biters man) but then i realized we would be disrupting the whole show with our crunchmunchcrunchmunchings. and THAT'S when i realized why they have popcorn in movie theaters. no crunchmunchcrunchmunchings! what genius.

anyway, a review of the highly esteemed movie later. i miss you guys. so excited to party at ted&helen's wedding!

2003-10-26T09:31:00.000-08:00

DONDE ESTA MI BUFANDA?!

i have a feeling that i'm not holding things together all that well. small things and big things alike devastate me. i'm not trying to be overdramatic. it really puts me into a funk. perhaps i should medicate myself like so many do. but then i wouldn't really be living life. and life is hard. it's gonna devastate you. perhaps we as a nation like our blinders on. it is more convenient. and convenient means saving time and saving time means saving money.

i think i'm babbling now so i'm gonna stop trying to be all philomasophical.

i lost the scarf that emi made for me in japan. on a beautifully cloudy day, i got to sleep in a little, was walking to the jahva house on the way to work, and i suddenly noticed that i didn't have it anymore. i was devastated. i wanted to cry. i didn't wanna face emi ever. i actually thot how can i make my own and not have her notice? i started thinking that of all my many possessions i really wanted just that scarf. to hell with everything else. yall can have it.

i searched all round for it, asking madly at anyone that came across my path, "donde esta mi bufanda?!" in english of course. some neighborly folks were empathetic, but some were looking at me like i was a crazy fool. i finally decided that i had lost it for good and went to work all miserable. good thing my trainer didn't bust my balls too much cuz i woulda let her have it. sigh.

when i got back home, i discoverd someone had found my scarf and left it on top of the mailboxes. apparently i lost it before i even got outta the building. god i'm so dumb. but i was truly elated and proceeded to write this note to my hero: "to whoever found my scarf, THANK YOU EVER SO MUCH!!! i love you forever. i will treat you to a cuppa coffee/tea." there have been no takers, so i'm thinking meebe my note kinda scared my neighbors. ohwell. estoy contenta con mi bufanda.

2003-10-16T18:07:00.000-07:00

i know i know i haven't updated in forever. my fraaands prolly don't even check anymore. sniff. but i might as well update about my new life in oakland. EASTBAY!

1. if i had balls, my new coworker responsible for my training would bust em. booty exploded.

2. not rooming with marisa, emi, or edeline is not rooming with emi, marisa, or edeline.

3. i LOVE walking to work. but leaving honayhonay with the incompetent vw dealership was still hard.

4. not having fast internet was killing me. (yes, so it is up now. yay!)

5. i really like my room. and the weird thing is, it didn't feel right until dave and monet went up on the wall.

6. i actually DO talk to my parents more now that i don't see them everyday.

7. my sis sent me a strawberry shortcake card to my new place. AWW. so sweet. (i LOVED ss when i was 5. you too, helen!)

8. i actually make my lunch (only sandwiches) just about everyday. not cuz i love them, but because i don't like to eat anything else around.

9. my new job puts the crackdown. is this what tight security jails are like? we got 2 10min TIMED breaks. my ballbuster of a trainer actually suggested i SYNCHRONIZE my watch. we also get a very precious 30 min lunch which must be spent in the lunch room. i have no idea why. put all that together with unlocking and locking every single frikkin door in the office, a broken elevator, and a locked staircase. can we say fire hazard?

10. is it a bad sign when the whole laundry room turns dark when you push the on button to the dryer?

11. peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are no fun without rasberry HERO jelly. YUM.

12. i *gasp* don't think i like coffee anymore.

13. i really like my new church new hope. i'm finally home. praise god.

2003-09-23T21:37:00.000-07:00

last week my family (note the absence of "and i" here) decided to take a last minute vacation in the form of a fourday chinese bus tour of yosemite, las vegas, hoover dam, and The Grand Canyon. apologies to all that wondered if i was still alive, and for those that didn't miss me: why didn't you? hmph.

most people's reactions to this spurofthemoment family bonding extravaganza was positive: "how cute!" or "how fun!" i promise you it was nothing of the sort. you OBVIOUSLY have never been on a chinese bus tour. on a bus filled with ordinarily endearing grammas and grampas that overnight turn into ugly jabbering monsters that will step on your toes every chance they get, there is no escape. combine that with 10+ hours on the bus, with ONE HOUR (60 MINUTES, in case you think i am exaggerating) at each site, and you get a waking nightmare.

of course, i have to admit, as a firsttimer to lasvegas and the grand canyon, we did get our money's worth. you pay for what you get. it inspired me to someday shack up at the bellagio, watch oceans11 again for the whole vegas experience, and much further in the future, hike up and down the grand canyon's rusty red walls and again be reminded of my mere insignificance in god's infinite and beautiful creation.

i've already taken care of the oceans11 bit. did that the night i came back. (incidentally, this is my favorite movie, and oceans12 the sequel (the 12th member being julia roberts) complete with the og cast is already in the works! can't wait.) my sister, with promises to be just rich, not necessarily famous, will put me up at the bellagio "some day", with the cost of The Buffet at the Bellagio included. i will have to consult with my muscles about that grand canyon part.

indeed, i have survived. but all coupons for such bustours are now indefinitely expired.

2003-09-12T10:49:00.000-07:00

i know i shouldn't be doing this, but i can't help it. i want to share the good news! i got an unofficial offer from the interview i had last week! i didn't think i had a chance at all, but i guess they're really good at playing poker. today i have an intimidating group interview, and monday i have another interview. the harvest is coming in, and i'm really grateful.

on sunday, at my first cell group meeting with our new church (new hope), someone had a promise of encouragement for me...it's the first time i haven't felt threatened by the word of God coming from someone else. praise the Lord.

i'm on my way to living on my own in oakland. it makes me all teary to think back to where i've come from, and how long it has taken to get here. thank you all for your prayers. and thank you in advance for coming to visit me in my new place! :)

2003-09-03T21:03:00.000-07:00

today's blog is a list of recommendations:

1. whale rider, a movie about the aboriginal peoples of new zealand. a really beautiful movie about a girl coming of age, set in beautiful new zealand! remember the scenes from lotr?

2. hyphen magazine, the first publication targeting asian americans (currently 11 million strong, 4% of the nation!). based in sf, it really hits a lot of current and relevant issues. plus they got some dope interviews. if you can find it, try and support it!

3. breyer's coffee ice cream. y'all know how much i love coffee. and how much i love ice cream. put them together, and you got my version of heaven. and of course, i've tried just about every brand there is. but breyer's is the best--go get it!

4. yknow how i was looking for a facial cleanser eons ago? i think i finally found it: aveeno's clear complexion foaming cleanser. it's on sale this week at target for $5!

ok, and i concede: one update: tomorrow is my first interview! i'm pretty excited about the position, but not too excited about the location. if i have to commute...i think it will kill me. but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

2003-08-28T15:43:00.000-07:00

can you believe it?! i watched a movie and had dinner with YURI KOCHIYAMA.

i also spent a better part of yesterday watching ghosts of albion co-written by amber benson, tara on buffy!

2003-08-21T19:23:00.000-07:00

are you guys checking my links? cuz this one has to be the greatest of all. it might rival my subsititution for patslife even. :O

2003-08-21T18:10:00.000-07:00

a piece of advice to some of you out there/my new motto: NETWORK OR NO WORK! i got it from mia.

2003-08-21T03:45:00.000-07:00

i really REALLY miss coffee. since i quit my job, i've been trying not to indulge. but i love that rush of alertness. and yes, this explains why i am still up at 4am sending out resumes. i hafta admit that round 2 of jobsearching is pretty nice. i feel so relaxed and not too stressed. and i get so excited about a lot of the organizations i apply to. it's so encouraging to see people working at trying to make this world a better place for EVERYONE.

here are some of my favorites:
1. triad family services helps foster children transition from foster families into the big bad world
2. the mccullum youth court supports first-time juvenile offenders
3. the new america foundation promotes economic empowerment to new americans (new citizens, immigrants, and refugees)

on my break i stumbled upon this piece of blackmail. i'm so gonna regret posting that link.

2003-08-13T18:55:00.000-07:00

i hope one day my blogs won't consist of ONLY updates. sorry guys. you knew i was a slacker anyway, right?

1. mia's guamanian feast was SO EXCELLENT. i love her chicken. i've never tasted better. it was cool to see a few people. i was sad that my trip was so poorly planned, but whatever. i still got to treat the entire shin family to dinner (in honor of mr. shin's bday) AND see 1/3 of eric ikeda's face! :)

2. don and sam moved into their new place in the fruitvale district of oakland. it's quite comfy. especially with all the free furniture they've accumulated in the past month or so. it's really quite amazing. and now the barbed wire outside doesn't scare me in the least bit. and the kids in the complex are downright adorable.

3. "helped" mia move in. by the time i got there, jen, ed, and mia had emptied the truck and were returning it. i didn't plan it that way, honest! i did help to assemble the "berkeley" futon, though--what a nightmare. the instructions contained no more than 25 words. we had to reassemble 3 times. aiyiyi. also got eaten alive by a wayward flea. i guess not so wayward, cuz he struck the goldmine. i got bitten 20 times, and have the scars to prove them. the other girls too. wah! :(

4. though i have to admit that we were cursing dave matthews for not selling out his concerts (you can take that pun and run with it--i will look the other way), the shows are still AWESOME. thank god that we were not able to sell the shoreline tix and went to the show. thanks to all who helped get the word out about our tix! the band played my alltime favorite song, twostep. everything was forgiven after that. the gorge show was so amazing. i think we will go back again. and again and again. :)

5. emi's finally back! welcome back emi! it was so good to see her again. when we went to napa, it was like old times. so cool.

6. just came back from tahoe. my first time moun6tainbiking and all i have to show for it is my sore butt. had to take some timeouts cuz i suck and i'm so out of shape. also because bike seats are superhard and superuncomfortable. who invented the stupid bike anyway? though meebe i can pretend that the hard fall i took resulted in all the fleabite scars i have. all that said, though, i think i could go again someday.

7. the job search is going. i get really excited about some positions. i hope they get excited about my cover letters. i spend a lot of time on those things. to provide some encouragement and distraction, i've taken to checking out rental listings. still dreaming about a studio apartment, but i think that's gonna go out the window. i asked myself this question this week: would i consider living with a homosexual couple? at first, i thought, why not? but then i realized, i wouldn't be caught dead living with a heterosexual couple. ahahaha.

8. made some vegetarian chili for last week's lunches. it was good, but boy did i spill too many hot peppers in there. ooh booy. i still have some more if any of you would like a challenge.

9. indulged in netflix this month. it is so cool. they send you 3 dvds by mail for free, and as soon as you return one, they send you another. so you keep this queue of movies you wanna watch online, and you get to watch all of them for no penalties (no late fees EVER and free shipping ALLTHETIME) FOR ONLY 20 BUCKS A MONTH. of course i'm realizing that i would never normally spend this much on movies anyway, but for this month, i'm going to indulge and catch up. if you wanna try it for free, use the code: Friend47 it's soooo cool.

okay, i'm petered out. (or rather, i'm gonna go watch talk to her, heehee) next time, no more updates. i can't believe it's almost september! aiyiyi. i'll leave you with some FUN!

2003-07-17T16:22:00.000-07:00

it's time for an update, isn't it?

1. it's been two days since i've been freed from the working world. vacation is so nice. i have been doing absolutely nothing. man, 20 years (maybe make that 20 minutes) from now, i'm gonna be thinking, i was such a naive fool with more than i will ever know. haha. it's good to live a batty-free life, though. she gave me a run for my money the last few days, making me cry and all that. should've invested in a pair of those brass knuckles. ;)

2. my dmb tix finally came today! i'm superexcited. but in our warehouse frenzy, ed, mia, and i took on a little more than we could bargain. if you'd like to see dmb this summer at shoreline or the gorge, gimme a holla before this weekend's over. i'll hook you up. :) other than the stress of selling off tix, i'm looking forward to flying out to washington to see the band. though this may be the last time in a while...i still dunno how i feel about boyd's and dave's solo debuts. :P

3. had some wonderful guests these past couple of weeks! deborah came for a night and hobee's (we run a regular bed&bf here at the hui household), and jen, mia, ed, and i shared my room with the help of a queen sized inflatable mattress last weekend. i hafta admit that i am a terrible host without marisa. she basically does everything. so i was supernervous, but i think everything went okay. as usual, we gorged ourselves on a visit to taj (a must in the southbay), mia treated us to moonstar (for which i am forever grateful), and we slurped our way through an earthquake at ghiardelli square.

4. i am finally going to get my haircut tomorrow! amy is scheduled with the Man (his name is really man), and i have maggie. i'm kind of nervous. but i hear they give good head massages. can't wait.

5. honayhonay is falling apart. there is a thing called a chassis that protects the engine from wayward rocks and stubble. but mine is made of plastic and held together by three screws. now there's some german ingenuity forya. two of them came lose, and so consequently, the whole panel was dragging on the floor while i was driving. the dealership is always accusing and not very friendly, but my dad and i came up with a solution: duct tape. so no worries, honayhonay is running smoothly with the help of some silver lining. :)

6. pattypat has been edumacating me on bands that suck and bands that rock. it's pretty fun tearing up what's on the crapio (crap-radio) with him, but once he started dogging shakira, it wasn't so much fun. per his suggestion, i went to see tremolo on saturday with the gang. they were pretty good. i didn't know christian bands that don't suck even existed. :P if you're free tonight, they're playing in sf FOR FREE.

okay, i've pretty much emptied my brain. hope everyone is doing well and keeping cool. i really don't enjoy summer heat AT ALL.

2003-07-16T11:07:00.000-07:00

i am outraged.

2003-06-19T23:58:00.000-07:00

hihi everyone! so much has happened since i last blogged. i can't believe it. and i'm so behind. sorry i'm such a slacker. i will do my best to update.

1. i quit my job. i've been wanting to move on (from this job and out of my parents' house!) for a while, never expecting to stay much more than a year. some of that has to do with batty (bc she's got a baseball bat stuck up her ass; read previous blog), and most of it doesn't. i don't have anything lined up, which makes my parents think i'm absolutely bonkers, choosing to be unemployed for god knows how long. but i feel at peace. my plan is to move up to join don/sam in sf/oakland (don succesfully got a transfer to the downtown sf firm!), and get a job that'll gimme experience in social work. how that's all gonna happen...well, i haven't figured that out. but it does leave me open--something i'm really thankful for. sometimes i waver between being completely freaked out (i've never taken any risks; go figure for me to take a first big risk), and relying on the peace that transcends understanding. i'm looking forward to a summer vacation. i just hope it doesn't turn into a fall vacation...:P. my last day is july 15. the countdown has begun.

2. so, looking for a new home church again. don and i are checking out new hope, a church in oakland. don and sam will be moving close to the community-based church. i still have reservations and issues of commitment. but we'll see. i'm open.

3. marisa left me. the night before we were all hanging out on her abysmal couch, and i completely passed out. don had to lead me to the car when we left. my eyes were still closed. i didn't even say goodbye! i could barely mumble. i don't even remember mumbling. but by god's grace i hunted her down at the airport the following day without knowing where she was flying or from what airline. crazy. i got an email from her the other day; she is safe in paraguay, notslow--speeding through everything. very busy, but she still checks her email--send her fuzzies!

4. eric akira ikeda was born! elissa suffered 26 hours of labor, but he finally came, eyes wide open and as cute as can be. i have to say i knew it'd be a boy. he's gonna be a heartbreaker.

5. don surprised marisa and i to a coldplay concert. i still can't believe it. his generosity astounds me.

6. don's 25th was last week and we celebrated with a very relaxing day trip to monterey and a food and beer fest at sam's. it's one of the best days i've had in a while. ;)

7. harry potter's coming out! i can't wait. i REALLY can't wait. i just finished a book and i'm dying for something else. something exactly like harry potter. it's that kind of having to go pee in your pants not being able to wait.

8. i have confirmed well-hidden stretch marks on my tummy. the folds hurt. i need to lose weight. but i dunno how seeing has how i like to eat so much and the mere mention of the word buffet gets me all excited. i still wanna try out moonstar. it's supposed to be better than todai. it's that not being able to wait kind of thing again. here's a review from one of my favorite blogs.

9. summer movies. man i haven't been this excited to see movies since freshmen year at lala when i discovered the joys of moviewatching in westwood at $4 student rates. remember those?! omg. it all started with "bend it like beckham", "better luck tomorrow", and "xmen2". just watched "matrix reloaded" for the fourth time (2 on imax!), and "watching nemo". there's almost too many to count! btw, all of the previous movies are MUSTSEEs. you must see it. go sit on your ass for a couple of hours! i hafta admit, though, that i was not entranced by "finding nemo" like everyone else. who wants to see a movie about fish?! i eat them with relish. don't wanna disrupt my only healthy habit. but pixar has dutifully done well, killing my desire to eat fish. AND the movie made me cry, dammit. still awaiting a chance to see "the italian job", and definitely excited about "charlie's angels: full throttle" and "legally blonde 2".

10. i got a new email account: honayhonay@mailcan.com go check it out! heard about it from maggie: you get 10mb for free! i have 6 from yahoo, but they now only give 4. and i hear hotmail is giving some people grief.

well, i think that's just about it. i miss you guys. :)

2003-05-23T23:23:00.000-07:00

i left work wanting to cry today. some of you may know that one of my coworkers doesn't like me. i can't figure it out. not really sure i wanna know anymore. pretty sure i wanna leave, though. so there's this part of me that's all sad and discouraged cuz i can't figure it out for the life of me. and then there's this other part that's like, what the? what is WRONG with her? am i gonna let her push me out like that? dunno what's right to do. please pray for direction.

it's definitely not the best way to start a 3day weekend, lemme tell you. but i came home and i got pity massages from my mom and sister. dad gave me a peptalk about how i shouldn't let her win and make me all upset. good advice, but not sure i can handle it. i tried really hard today. didn't work out so well. but you know what works? friends. i'm talking about hearing friendly voices. thanks guys! well, and i hafta admit, the tv show. those kids are crazy. i love it. also, here are some blog entries that made me crack up this week: markymark's and jenwil's. hungabilarious. thanks guys, i love laffing.

2003-05-22T19:23:00.000-07:00

last week i began to realize that aunty flora might not get better from cancer. even though i was in lala lastflinging with marisa, i couldn't help but worry about her passing. mia introduced me to a bebo norman song, and i cried like a baby. lucky thing i was in the back seat. wednesday morning, aunty flora passed away.

when i allow myself to truly think about it, i get all teary and mopey. it doesn't really encourage my attitude towards work. in a strange way, though, i feel like my faith in god has been stregthened by her passing. i have no idea why--i can't even begin to postulate why god's timing has to be now, or how this is part of his plan.

after watching buffy, i had a series of dreams of friends' passings. it was kind of weird. some of my dreams come true sooner or later. i feel like these dreams won't. but it was still kind of freaky to know that after i woke up, aunty flora was leaving us for jesus.

i'm looking forward to the west coast memorial service this sunday.

2003-05-20T21:22:00.000-07:00

buffy ends today. i have been holding my breath for at least a month now. i can't believe it's over. i even remember watching my sister watch it when it first came to the wb, when it made the wb. i thought, what a stupid name. i didn't even know it was previously a movie flop. who knew joss whedon would become idolized as he is now? even when my roommates were mad crazy about it i did not fall. but now i find myself without any desire to watch tv after tonight. here's an article that marisa found in oc weekly (orange county). no worries, there aren't any spoilers. just a eulogy.

2003-05-14T23:45:00.000-07:00

if you read this quiz, you will know everything there is to know about cupertino, the town i grew up in. and that is, there is nothing to know. even still, i only got 80% on the "How Cupertino are you?" Quizie! What about you? blame helen if you think it's dumb.

2003-05-14T18:43:00.000-07:00

today i have been dragged to my knees.

while traveling to a visit, i bite the curb BIG TIME and my tire explodes. stupidass "performance" tires.
BY GOD'S GRACE,
1. we were close to stanford, so my supervisor could pick up my coworker and go to the appointment i was supposed to go to
2. my SUPERvisor gave me the rest of the day off
3. i was able to drive to a nearby parking lot under my stanford-alum coworker's direction because i am clearly not thinking by this time
4. my dad is willing to give up his strict workout regimen to help me out
5. the owners of the car i happen to park next to arrive and are very concerned with my predicament
6. though my insurance agent is of no help whatsoever, the husband/father of the car i happened to park next to CHANGES MY TIRE while i helplessly look on
7. my dad helps me drive to the vw dealership (no help at all), and the goodyear dealership
8. i get a new tire and road damage insurance for $150 by 6:00p
9. overall, i had a wonderful and productive day. now i know how to change my tire, even if i had to learn it the hard way. and i get to eat at home with my parents before they leave.
10. i feel terrible! about what i did to honayhonay. but now my big fat baby is okay.

also, aunty flora is in big trouble. i don't have any more words. please pray.

2003-05-11T20:37:00.000-07:00

comcast bought out at&t broadband. why is this of consequence? we were smuggling cable tv from our cable modem. comcast did some housecleaning and now we're only left with hgtv. home. garden. tv. it's really rather pitiful. kind of interesting, but it only leaves you depressed after seeing what some rich kids' rooms are like.

2003-05-11T02:42:00.000-07:00

got some pretty amazing quotes from monique this week:
if god brings you to it, he will bring you through it.
(is this indicative of my return to my parents' house?)

if you don't stand for something, you will fall for everything.
(is this why i'm so gullible?)

2003-05-05T00:06:00.000-07:00

sorry for the delay, guys! i feel really bad about the lack of updates. i hope you find the following my way of making it up to you.

2003-05-04T23:21:00.000-07:00

i am taking a poll. i need a new facial cleansing regimen. tell me what you got on your bathroom sink! i wanna try it.

2003-04-30T03:54:00.000-07:00

got a devil's haircut in my mind...

does anyone know that song? can't give eprops, but i'll give you a hug if you can guess it!

seriously, though, i wanna get my haircut. i even consulted emi about a particular cut! she's been my fashion stylist from the beginning. but it's taken forever to recover from the last one. my rainforest of hair is no longer. no more hair. now if only my armpits would do the same. ahahahhahahaa. EEW.

2003-04-29T00:49:00.000-07:00

i fell for this song because of mandy. i can't believe it. but i really like it. maybe i'll learn to play it one day. maybe after i'm done with

learning to breathe

hello, good morning, how you do?
what makes your rising sun so new?
i could use a fresh beginning too
all of my regrets are nothing new
so this is the way that i say i need you
this is the way that i say i'm

learning to breathe
i'm learning to crawl
i'm finding that you and you alone
can break my fall
i'm living again, awake and alive
i'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

hello, good mroning, how you been?
yesterday left my head kicked in
i never, never thought that
i would fall like that
never knew that i could hurt this bad

so this is the way that i say i need you
this is the way that i say i love you
this is the way that i say i'm yours

2003-04-27T23:07:00.000-07:00

okay, about my trip since i don't wanna be a slacker. i'm not really good at descriptions, but i am good at making lists, just ask marisa. i think i tortured her with them. those swift kicks to the buttocks were only out of love...but those listmaking parties? pure torture. :).

korea:
1. jay is a wonderful host. although don and i snickered like five year olds about his historical tour of the hyundai corporation (did you know that the og hyundai was a construction business?), jay selected key places for us to visit to get a sense of the social, historic, and gastronomic places in seoul. he also kept us safe with rule #1: keep a copy of your passport on your person at all times. and he kept us informed with his traveling philosophy. you gotta ask him about that one.
2. the food. there was a lot of it. did you know that there are 8 different ways to prepare pork in korea? i myself tried 5 of them. :O!
3. the caffeine. if you don't know, i'm a caffeine fiend. i'll be the first to admit that i am addicted. luckily i didn't have to hold back in korea. wonderful little vending machines that go down so smooth make you ohso happy for only 25 cents! the monetary equivalent of a starbucks would be fifteen of those lovely goodies. there are also other refreshigly sweet yogurt and juice drinks too!
4. jay has wonderfully generous friends. it was truly an honor to be pampered by them. i've met so many wonderful korean nationals! all of them treated us to different types of korean food. we got to do typical seoul-itish things. one friend even lent us his apartment for our entire stay. even still, i wonder at their judgement...they all seemed to think jay was the typical american: politically concious, analytical, and incredibly intelligent. i am none of those things...hmm, i'm starting to feel like a shmuk.
5. fashion: my first day in seoul, i noticed all the women wearing the same lavender eye shadow. is this coordinated? why wasn't i informed? most women seemed to wear buttoned shirts buttoned to the top and pumps. again the feeling of shmukness.
6. chejudo. a favorite vacation spot for middleclass koreans off the southwest coast of south korea. i feel priveleged to have gone there, when so many are not as fortunate. jay generously afforded don and i one afternoon to decide what we would like to do. i randomly picked a volcano crater out of lonely planet. it turned out to be a beautiful, albeit strenuous, hike in platforms and a skirt. the views were breathtaking. i've heard it's the best view of the sunrise...if there is a next time, i'm definitely planning for that trip.
7. i love the public transportation system. stupid fart we have here in the bay area doesn't even compare.
8. the shopping: jay took us to three main open markets. one for traditional handmade things, and two opening late at night. the first night we attempted to go to the largest and oldest market in seoul, we got there at 10:30p, AN HOUR before opening. that's some crazy mad shopping. this has to be where the phrase, "shop till you drop" originated.
9. the cars are all hyundai! to accomodate all the cars, the apartment compex we were staying allowed double parking with the agreement that if you double park, you leave your emergency brake off. if you are blocking someone's car, then they can push it out of the way. amazing. can you imagine that here in the states? i wish i got a pic of that.
10. personal thoughts: while traveling, i made a note to picture myself either in korea or japan for an extended stay. don and i have talked about living abroad for so long. perhaps seoul will one day be home.

japan:
1. emi is a wonderful host. do you get the sense that there is a pattern here? but seriously, i can't believe she only kicked me once during my entire stay! though i must say i did not kick HER.
2. was so lucky to celebrate emi's birthday with her friends (fellow jets and japanese nationals). they are all so cute and clearly adore emi. but then again, who wouldn't? i also learned that they like to EAT. my kind of people.
3. emi humored me by watching japanese tv with me. i was really intrigued. we watched mtv and other music channels. some of those punk rock bands are pretty good! but those pop stars with sunglasses that try really hard to look stoned--annoying. emi said the trend now is to look like a super cute 12 year old. i dunno if i qualify anymore...maybe i should have been in japan a few years ago. i would have passed, i think!
4. went to tokyo for a shopping spree. emi's friend junko set us up in the penthouse of a really nice hotel. we almost stole the robes they gave us. and we had a nice view of the tokyo tower.
5. in tokyo, we ate at a european fusion restuarant. it was pink! i'm beginning to wonder if japanese like pink. those pinky mints sure are good. we each had a drink that left us wanting more but not the slight bit tipsy. that's right. you better believe it..
6. sticky pics. emi and i took three rounds of them cuz we couldn't quite get it right. we left our first and worst at the hotel in tokyo--the cleaning ladies were in for a real treat! even our best i kinda ruined with my scary faces. i always thought they were weird, not scary...but they turned out kind of demonic. hmm. gotta work on that smile.
7. 100 yen sushi. even i ate my fill of sushi. man.
8. buffy goodness the first night i arrived in japan. i brought over three episodes of angel and one episode of buffy for emi and her new buffy fanatic disciples. marisa was kind enuf to delete the commercials from the first episode, but happened to place the buffy after all the angel episodes--intentionally, we though and continued to curse but still watch all the stupidstupid angel episodes. we also read two buffy magazines (yes there is such a publication) cover to cover during my stay.
9. the ocean views near emi's house are beautiful. i can't believe she lives right near the ocean! we tried multiple times to see the sunset and a view of mt. fuji, but to no avail. the soothing ocean winds were enough for me, though.
10. personal thoughts: i personally found japanese culture to be a little bit rigid. but that's prolly the slacker cali girl in me talking. i am thankful that western ideas and thoughts have not completely overtaken the world and that so much of japanese culture has been maintained.

final thoughts: the timing of our traveling plans (a feat in itself) and the weather (something we could not change) really worked out well for us. someone must have been on our side. ;). while i am still suffering from jetlag, i am so thankful for this opportunity to travel with close friends. thank you jay and emi!!!

2003-04-16T17:25:00.000-07:00

i just gotta report that don and jay and i are eating well. over here we got breakfast, second breakfast, noonsies, twosies, afternoon tea, supper, dinner, midnight snack, ...need i say more? don's goal is to gain 10 pounds. i don't think we'll have a problem there.

2003-04-10T00:44:00.000-07:00

man, it's like a blogging frenzy i got over here. i haven't blogged like this since i first started. phew.

don and i went to the river delta tonight. it feels so good to study the bible. i really miss it. i've had these urges to just go to any study just for the sake of being able to study the bible with fellow brothers and sisters. and i've given into those urges. but it's never quite the same studying with strangers that will remain strangers. the delta seems promising! hopefully this will be a place where strangers will become family.

the bible study was on ezekiel 34:1-24. we talked about god's justice and how that is visible (or not so much) today. many good points were raised, including how sad it is that god's vision of the kingdom, where the most powerful serve the weak, is completely turned upside down in our world view today. that bad shepherding leads to injustice for the sheep, and that this angers god and he will bring justice and punishment to those shepherds. yikes. that his anger is not only reserved for shepherds, but also for sheep--fat ones anger him tons. double yikes. and also that everyone hurts from injustice as a part of the body of christ. so many lessons, in so little words, and so little time. no pretenses here. i love it.

i know some of you have been worried that i haven't found a church yet. some of you may think i'm going through some kind of phase. frankly, i have been far more worried. it's something i've been trying to figure out for a long time. and while i haven't reached conclusions of clarity that come with hindsight, i can safely say that this is not a phase. i really feel like god is leading me through this time of molding, this time of shaping. that it's in his plan. most importantly, that it is his timing. thank you to those that haven't judged me--it has not gone unnoticed nor unappreciated.

i hope the river delta will be my home. but if not, i have confidence that god has chosen one for me.

2003-04-09T13:52:00.000-07:00

it's funny how modern technology is addictive. don and i just recently bought a sonic toothbrush. for two weeks, i was still getting used to it. but then i left it at sam's. and now i am crying for it everyday. i want my toothbrush back. i am seriously anxious for the day it comes back to me. i guarantee you it will be a happy day when i get it back.

today has been one of those days where seemingly everything becomes inconvenient. i left the house without my cell phone (among other things, like my brain), and i am finding myself so sorely dependent on it.

a few years ago i didn't even use the phone all that much and now i need my cell phone with me even though i'm not necessarily using it? a month ago i was using regular toothbrushes and now i can't get a feelgood clean without my electronic one? what is this?

2003-04-09T02:55:00.000-07:00

for a while i have been debating whether i want to pursue us-foreign-policy-related debates (why must everything be so difficult? ;).), given my emotions and my frustrations at my own inability to think and respond quickly. but just now i had a really good debate with one of my friends, albeit over aim. perhaps it is possible to have a meaningful discussion, despite opposing opinions. but at the same time i don't appreciate bombardment of opinions, unless self-subjugated. so by all means, if we are not in agreement, don't read the following since it is largely encouraging to me and probably fuels rather than dissuades me from peacefully protesting this war and other roguestate-ish foriegn policy.

that said, onwards with some quotes i thought were interesting, or rather, encouraging and persuasive:

"a standard argument is that we had to do something: we could not simply stand by as atrocities continued. the argument is so absurd that it is rather surprising to hear it voiced. suppose you see a crime in the streets, and feel that you can't just stand by silently, so you pick up an assault rifle and kill everyone involved: criminal, victim, bystanders. are we to understand that to be the rational and moral response?"
-noam chomsky, "rogue states: the rule of force in world affairs", 2000

i am finding myself respecting this man more and more, almost in danger of pedestal-placing, despite my background in ling. ;). within the same chapter, chomsky quotes another individual:

"the pressures eroding the prohibition on the use of force are deplorable, and the arguments to legitimize the use of force in those circumstances are unpersuasive and dangerous... violations of human rights are indeed all too common, and if it were permissible to remedy them by external use of force, there would be no law to forbid the use of force by almost any state against almost any other. human rights, i believe, will have to be vindicated, and other injustices remedied, by other, peaceful means, not by opening the door to aggression and destroying the principal advance in international law: the outlawing of war and the prohibition of force."
-louis henkin, "how nations behave", 1979

and finally, but surely not leastly, from reverend martin luther king, april 4, 1967, one year exactly before his assaination: "beyond vietnam: a time to break silence"

2003-04-08T23:45:00.000-07:00

i've finally come to terms with the term (haha) "chinese-american".

when asked the question, "what are you?", my first reaction is "chinese". i don't consider myself to be american because many don't consider me to be. by my appearance alone, i don't necessarily seem to fit. so in that respect, i've never really associated my identity with being american. if confronted with, "where are you from?", directed towards my heritage, i will answer with, "i was born here (to make the distinction that i am a us citizen), but my parents are from hong kong." (though my dad is orginally from canton, china.) of course if i were to return to hong kong or china it is immediately apparant that i am not chinese; i am american. which leaves me... where? or more appropriately, who?

most will adopt the hyphen, the gift? of the melting pot, that we can aspire to be in both worlds, one foot in each, or many, as the case may be. but i feel like i am not firmly standing on either ground. which leads me to freely critique the things i find faulty with this country, without taking responsibility for being american, even though i am. so if i call myself purely chinese, i should then take responsibility for the atrocities china has done in the past. but i'm not even aware of them, save for some historical background i've read pertaining to the cultural revolution, but only because it affects my family.

i don't claim responsibility for anything. and i'm beginning to see that i am so very wrong in that regard. because whether people view me as an american, or whether i see myself as an american, is inconsequential. i am american by birthright, moreso technically, by citizenship. i benefit from most opportunities given us-born citizens. i could technically run for president. i live in luxury in the silicon valley. my comfortable and gluttonous lifestyle is allowed me because people are suffering worldwide. i must take responsibility for that. the only concience-free alternative is to revoke those liberties. will i buy non-sweatshop clothes? will i give up honayhonay my car? will i give up meat? am i willing to go all the way?

2003-04-06T23:00:00.000-07:00

by far, this weekend's peace march in oakland was the most inspiring, fun, ...and tiring. it was a licensed march, so the oakland pd was actually escorting us to the final destination. to reenact an anti-war (vietnam) march, some marched from sproul plaza, ucberkeley to downtown oakland civic center. we had the opportunity to march with the coalition of peoples of color starting from mosswood park, and joining the berkeley crowd later. it was so incredibly awesome. i don't even know how else to describe it. along with korean and african drumming, philippino and african american chanting, and groups of korean, chinese, vietnamese, philippino, black, and pacific islander peoples, i was overwhelmed with encouragement.

but even still, these are my sad sad sentiments. there's no escaping the fact that i march largely for my own benefit because i haven't taken any other action than to march. i am earnestly seeking a god centered place where these views would be heard, welcomingly accepted, and perhaps voiced. does one exist?

this week don and i will check out the river delta, a small group within the compassions ministries at the river. i hope and pray we will find a home, or at least encouragement.

i can't remember any really cool posters, but here are some pics from that dayf: "10,000 March In Oakland To Protest War On Iraq" 10k eprops to anyone that finds sam, part of don's bald head, or meeeeeee! ;). here's a hint, though it's nearly impossible: look for red (be the reds!), and a tall, vertical red sign with yellow triangle border.

2003-04-04T00:46:00.000-08:00

man i always forget what i wanted to post.

concerning the sars virus...that plane detained in san jose from tokyo with 4 reported cases of sars this week? 3 out of the 4 were taken to santa clara valley emergency room and checked out. it turns out they were misdiagnosed. no word on the fourth person.

i am still going to korea and japan. maybe i'm too young or naive, but seriously, the only thing that concerns me is the possible detainment and quarantine. i don't got time for that.

my dad's and sister's birthdays are coming up. don and i are going to treat them to straits cafe, a singaporean restaurant. my dad's concern was that chinese people would be eating there. (and he might possibly contract sars) i assured him there probably wouldn't be any chinese people there...except me. did he mean me? :( well, and my mom and my sister.

2003-04-04T00:33:00.000-08:00

i can't believe i forgot to mention this. has the time flown by so quickly? last week my warehouse bid for 4 out of 5 dmb shows came through!!!!

IAMSOEXCITEDIJUSTCAN'THIDEIT!!!!

i'm going to the gorge going to the gorge going to the gorge going to the gorge going to the gorge going to the gorge going to the gorge going to the gorge going to the gorge going to the gorge

man i should have done this warehouse thing a whole lot earlier. saves so much time and anticipation. not to mention undue heartache for not being able to get tix after standing in line for 4 hours. i guess in this case, my lesson is: fork over the money.

2003-04-04T00:28:00.000-08:00

to all my fans out there: sorry i haven't blogged in such a long time. or it seems like it to me. but it's really only been a week or so. so i guess i'm my biggest fan. ahahahahahaha.

i'm turning into ...i was gonna put "a freak show", but i have to ammend that, because i was going to follow up with, "following in gus' footsteps". oops. but i'm really liking these puns. is this the korean in me showing through? ;). i saw this box of mints for making you fresh and minty AND feel good about yourself. they were called accomplishmints. ahahahahahahaha. i was actually laffing in the store...don was edging away.

for more punnies: we have been working on publishing manuscripts for our ongoing study. for the most part, i have no idea what i'm doing. so i've entitled everything "man!", short for manuscript, of course. (as in, man.xls, man.doc) it gives me great comfort.

lately i have been having really poor communication with people, especially marisa. the other day i said, "chachangmyun"; she thought i said "calamari". yesterday i said "cookie", she asked me if i said "mochi", and don thought marisa said "smoochie". the thing is, we were all sitting at the same table, not more than 2 feet away from each other. does anyone remember the telephone game? there are countless other examples, but i can never remember them. i can't even remember if i said "cookie" in the first place. which makes me think, why bother with what the person really said in the first place? it would certainly give madlibs a run for their money. but then it would be really sad.

on another note, i honestly haven't given my wussiness much thought lately. i think i was waiting for the situation at the rape crisis center concerning the need for a spanish translator to pan out before i made a commitment. but today i discovered that i am not even certified to be a rape crisis advocate! when i first started hearing about ongoing investigations at my branch of the rcc, i felt kind of detached because i wasn't really sure what everyone was up in arms about. but now that i realize that i spent 40 hours training only to receive invalid credidation, i am outraged.

i want to say that those 40 hours were wasted. but i think that's my reaction to feeling duped and cheated. i have met so many wonderful people through this experience, and i want to continue to support my local rcc. but i'm sad to say that i won't be taking any calls or going out on any more sarts due to my status. because of my lack of valid certification, i am no longer bound by laws of confidentiality, which in sexual assault cases, could be turned against survivors. so now i'm really unsure about what to do.

2003-03-25T11:01:00.000-08:00

there are some amazing people out there.
last night i met this man who got bitten by a dog. a big scary german shepherd, mind you. (side note: i didn't know german shepherds were threatening? ed, is your doggie just really friendly?) he had this huge gash on his leg, but all he could complain about was how he just wanted to make friends and the dog didn't even give him a chance. good lord, to have that kind of positive mentality.
marisa told me about this one family she met...single moms, you are awesome. makes me think some more about adoption.
the rape crisis center that i volunteer at is in need of a spanish translator. i am reluctant because i know for once it will count. how do you console in spanish? should i pray for courage and strength? words to say? or should i just quit being such a wuss?

2003-03-24T00:46:00.000-08:00

i feel a strange sense of complacency. it seems like everyone around me is experiencing dramatic changes in their lives. and even though i'm really excited for my friends, i kinda feel left behind. i know it's not entirely true that EVERYone has something going on for them, but sometimes i wonder what is in store for me. mememe. i remember struggling with this in college. and i remember reading that in terms of god's will, it is important to focus on just that. pray for god's will. not god's will for me.

but how about god's will for the iraqi people? god's will for the north koreans? god's will for the other countries rich in natural resources that the us schemes to "liberate"? how about people that need "liberating" but do not benefit from the wealth of natural resources? should we pray for god's will for them? or should we stick with god's will and the furthering his kingdom?

so this boils down to faith. trusting that god's will is perfect, that he is in control. some say that as christians we should go farther and trust in the leadership of this country. god places authority figures in our lives for our benefit, obey them, blahblahblah. but i feel like that would be a resignation. a throwing in of the towel before a drop of sweat has fallen. ...i just don't know, and it sends my head spinning in circles.

i can't even bring myself to admit that the war has started. i'm still angry that this country has gone this far, without any regard to anyone but it's own profit, might, revenge. to talk about praying for a quick war...perhaps i'm too cynical for that. a quick war will only lead to a victory for the us, which will only boost their confidence that this was a just war, which will only lead to more such "just" wars in the future, bigger, badder, and far more dangerous.

at the same time, it's not like i want this war to go on longer just for the sake of proving the us wrong. i know that we should support our troops. and i do pray for them to be safe. but at the same time...how can this country send them out there at their peril and then pray for a quick resolution? i just can't match the two. i am at a loss.

2003-03-24T00:27:00.000-08:00

don and i bought sonicare toothbrushes. will someone please help me out? i dunno if i'm doing it right. cuz it tickles like crazy and i end up drooling all over the place. not a pretty sight. i felt the urgency to brush my teeth with the door closed when i stayed at marisa's this weekend. how embarrassing is that? don suggested i brush a little before i turn the thing on so that at least there will be toothpaste spread evenly. but other than that...maybe it just takes getting used to. i hope this is worth it in the long run. i fear i have cavities already. it may be too late.

2003-03-23T23:42:00.000-08:00

what is the point?
today i went with my family to have yumcha/dimsum. it is not my favorite thing, mind you. entirely TOO MUCH SHRIMP. i keep thinking of all the cholesterol. and don's cousin's name for shrimp: cockroach of the sea. and i have had entirely too much experience with cockroaches. big ones that fly and still survive even though you smash them and pour a bottle of insect repellant on them. pasting up holes in our apartment kitchen only to have them run over to the next unit.
anyway, besides the shrimp thing, i go because it's family time. i go because i love my family and i am (initially) eager to hear what my parents have to say. but today my dad insists on bringing his walkman. he is listening to it throughout lunch. from the house to the car to the waiting area to the table and all the way back to the house. and he thinks he is sly by putting the wires under his sweater. as if everyone does not know he's wired. at least it kept him from correcting everyone with his vast wealth of knowledge. but really, what is the point?

2003-03-17T23:58:00.000-08:00

i'm feeling pretty depressed about bush's 48hr ultimatum. and i'm not even that well-informed.
some thoughts from today:
1. i had to remind myself, "don't be feulish" in a rush to get home late from work tonight
2. should i try to fast during this ultimatum?

2003-03-16T23:56:00.000-08:00

is this a sign? this will be the third time writing this post. i hope it goes through this time. if not, then perhaps i am fireballing too much and i should write this another day. here goes...

i went to the sf peace rally yesterday. despite national forcasting for a storm, we had beautiful weather--not a drop from the sky! i had almost dissuaded myself from going, too. no way did i wanna be all revolutionary while drenched with rain, catching a cold, ensuring a miserable coming week at work. but i am glad that i decided not to be such a fatty wuss. god poured his blessings, not rain.

the speakers were really good, too! you had to have been there to see the "raging grannies" perform their peace/anti-war renditions of old songs. it was pimp funny. i was laffing so hard i stopped listening to the lyrics towards the end. hmm, perhaps not too effective. a 13-yr.old also read a short poem too. sweet, no? but this aint no ordinary teen--she organized a peace march for her jr.high! man, if grannies and girls can do it, so can i!

i bet some of you wondering, where is all this coming from?! i never pictured grace to be a peacerallier, or even a politicallyopinionated person, or (gasp!--dare i say it?) an activist. and i don't consider myself to be any of these things. i don't even consider myself to be well informed. for the most part, i don't read the newspaper because i am lazy, but frankly, because i don't believe what it says. i won't preach here because that's not my thing, but i will say this: people are going to die. and i can't sit idly while our president sends troops (our brothers and sisters) overseas under the guise of protecting this nation, and threatens (our brothers and sisters) with motherofallbombs under the pretense of bringing down an evil regime. god calls us to be peacemakers. peace has to be made. it won't be made by pacifists.

a self-claimed, badgeless reporter from the sjmercury asked us if we thought we were making a difference. in all honesty?, i'd have to say no. i don't think our president will change his plans for destruction just because millions of people worldwide for the first time in history demonstrate for peace. but i feel like i have to make this stand, at least to be a number to demonstrate No Blood For Oil.

don't worry, i don't plan on being a civildisobedient. but i am trying to conserve gas. cmon, you wanna do it too--it's hurting your pockets everytime you fill up, right? i know it's hard, believe me. driving 65 is painful when i'm used to 80. but it's a small contribution.

okay, i'll stepdown now. please send any comments if you dis/agree.

on a lighter note, some new posters:
axles of evil (with a pic of an suv)
separation of church (crossed out and replaced with) corporation & state?
don't kill arab hotties (this roused chuckles from everyone)
and for you, emi: (in duct tape) peace fries

2003-03-12T23:58:00.000-08:00

these come in spurts, no? i just came back from a walk. did you hear about a study done on women's psychological state of happiness? they found that women feel 50% better after walking at a brisk pace for 5 minutes, 100% after 10 minutes. that's all it takes! 10 minutes to clear your head. smell the roses.

2003-03-12T23:56:00.000-08:00

my dad is a genius. a notmartha. he told me to open a credit card with a small credit line just for online purchases. then if someone steals your info and starts buying like crazy, s/he won't be able to cuz the limit is so small and you'll be able to catch it quite easily because you only make online purchases. word from the wise. **due to inappropriate content, i have edited this blog. hopefully i will gain more wisdom (maybe from my dad) in being more discreet. but i cannot be sure. i will try my hardest not to do so, though. that's all.**

2003-03-12T19:28:00.000-08:00

this weekend, jennifer came to visit! it was really cool to spend time with her--whenever i see her in lala, she's already running all around, never enuf time to catch up.

we did a lot of kickback things, including trying to watch "the ring". i REALLYREALLY wanna watch it. yes, i am a glutton for punishment because we all know that i cannot watch scary movies. invariably, i always end up watching through my fingers, if that...most of the time, my eyes are shut very tightly. (evidence, you ask?: my family went to see "thin red line" without me, and my roommies went to see "poltergeist" without me, all declaring that i was grounded.) anyway, does anyone wanna watch it? i'm gonna try to rent it again this weekend (it was rented-out at 3 blockbusters opening rental weekend!) instead, we watched "brotherhood of the wolf". pretty good choice; thanks jon!

we also ate at barney's gourmet hamburgers. hungabahs hungabahs! you may scoff at the idea of a "gourmet" hungabah, but quite honestly it is reallyreallyreally good. add excellent milkshakes (bavarian mocha, hands down) and battered mushrooms and zucchini in the mix, and you got yourself a very pleasureable dining experience. i usually can't finish all of my hungabah...i try to finish at least half. but i finally found the secret to finishing that hunka hungabah. take a "break" to go to the bathroom halfway to empty. it is quite pleasurable.

2003-03-12T18:38:00.000-08:00

i finally talked to my parents about the not being able to come home for dinner. i SO tried to get to work superearly, leave superearly, eat dinner with my parents, be the good daughter and all that. but it's just not possible. takes years off my life.

here's why:
i feel bad for leaving the office at five even though i get there at nine
i feel bad not carpooling with marisa and saving gas
i run into stupidtraffic and angry rich beemer-drivers (i swear i will never be a beemer owner for this reason alone)
and i am still late for dinner
it's a nowin situation. but thank god that's cleared up. my mom was pretty understanding! she is definitely "hip" (imagine my mom wiggling her hips has she does this--my mom the hula dancer!).

an update: my dad gets really excited about having dinner with me. so excited he just can't hide it and actually cooks! cute, no? we had a "poor man's meal"--corned beef and cabbage and taters. and of course, the asian staple: oranges for dessert. yum. all were on sale at pw. superyum. that, and i like anything that give me an excuse to eat mustard (three different kinds, mind you), pepper (freshly ground, of course), and sesame seeds (a hui household staple)!

check out my new favorite mustard: maille dijon original, traditional dijon mustard (although grey poupon is always a good choice too).

2003-03-04T23:58:00.000-08:00

I DID IT DO YOU THINK I'VE GONE TO FAR? I DID IT GUILTY AS CHARGED

2003-03-04T22:56:00.000-08:00

it's a dooging extravaganza!
gotta give props to the naked chef. i saw his new show a few weeks ago, "oliver's twist". had to watch it with the captions on, but he is still lovely jubbly.

2003-03-04T22:27:00.000-08:00

i have some words for all those cute little girls standing in front of local grocery stores, invading every cubicle, and coming to knock on my door, STAY AWAY FROM MY MOM. we have your entire stock here at my house. please. no more. i can't resist any longer. feeling weak...
and if you do happen to come by again, can you bring those coconut ones?

2003-03-04T22:25:00.000-08:00

today i read some sad sad sad news. heartwrenching. gut tearing and all over the floor in a big mess. heartattack inducing. do you think i should sue for psychological damage?
the cover of ew said in 2.5 inch letters: BUFFY QUITS
and i'm not even a freak like some people i know...

2003-03-04T22:17:00.000-08:00

i am deeply offended. when i took the "what kind of asian are you?" quiz i got, "I don't know what the hell you are. Go away. Freak." grr. talk about false advertising. don't be shaqin now...

2003-03-04T21:56:00.000-08:00

sorry nothing on nyny yet! waaaay behind over here. especially lacking in sleep. but i'll get something up, fo' shizzle

warning: this is a dirty post, in all sense of the word...
(a tribute to some, and just plain disgusting to others)

another good thing about living at home: my mom cleaned out all the ear wax from my ears tonight. i can hear again! i feel suddenly renewed. what am i gonna do without her? i can't very well pick my own ear wax out--what if i poke out my ear drums and completely lose all sense of hearing? not that i'm not far from there...

for daring readers: my mom asked, what happened here? did you dunk this ear in some gook? ...i'll leave the rest to your imagination. ;)

2003-02-21T12:24:00.000-08:00

yes, it's true. i'm at the new haven, ct public library BLOGGING. so far away from home, yet still so addicted. well and i thought i'd post some news from my trip, courtesy of don's suggestion:

1. i got to nyu from jfk all on my own! i'm pretty proud of myself. though i think i got a little too confident, cuz i spent 40 minutes the next morning looking for a subway station. i hope i do not re-experience this in japan. that would be infinitely worse. caca worse.
2. ate indian food in nyny. we are talkin fine dinin here. man. thanks deborah for treating! aiyiyi. i put shame to the older sister tradition.
3. afterwards we were so full we sat around her room. surfing blogs. if that's not obsessive, i dunno what is.
4. i saw an old man in his lawn chair reading the newspaper with 2 feet of snow all around him smack in the middle of washington square park. PIMP funny. i wish i had taken a pic.
5. columbia is beeeeeautiful. omg i wish i had gone there. i wish i could go there. sigh.
6. i love nyny.
7. there's nothing like hanging out with old friends. lots of fun reminiscing with mary, co-founder of buttock war. though it makes me wonder how old i'm getting if i'm reminiscing so much. :( mary, you are the main attraction.
8. don't watch romy and michele's high school reunion. even if you're curious to see how bad it really is. it is really bad. aliciakeys bad. and it's depressing.
9. i learned a lot of new words yesterday. hungabuhs (as in hamburgers), but you can use it as a verb, noun, adjective, anything you like. there's also variations as in hungabilarious. hungabahungabuh. hungabalicious. hungabaaaad. hungabuhstupid. my favorite is pimp funny (pee in my pants funny). ahahahahahaa.
10. yale food is so good and plentiful and "free". i can't believe it. hungabulicious. and they had bacon. hmm.
11. you like harry potter? come to yale! it's exactly like the movie. i can just see prof dumbledore coming down the steps.
12. went to the yale art museum today. mary and i were respectful and did not take any sacreligious pictures. if you wanna see an og van gogh, go before the end of the year! they're closing down for renovations. another cool thing about yale: to protect og books, they are housed in an all marble building, which lets some daylight in, but not too much, to protect the texts.
13. mary told me there was nothing to do in new haven. there isn't. there isn't even fine shopping. ah well, we spent all the money i saved on food. you only live once.
12. watched daredevil tonight. it was entertaining. still not a big fan of ben.

more adventures to come. the girls are coming tomorrow! fly safe, honeys!

2003-02-18T19:08:00.000-08:00

my dinner:
i am eating "jello" made by my dad.
it is made of pork skin, drained of all the fat.
i eat it with soy sauce, sesame seeds, and peanuts.
i wish he hadn't told me what it was.

2003-02-18T19:01:00.000-08:00

day of thanksgiving, in no particular order:
1. i found a parking spot i found a parking spot!
2. i got out early
3. there was no traffic
4. i am gonna eat dinner with my parents for once
5. my dad lent me his camera
6. i'm going on vacation! to NYNY!!!!!!!
7. later i'm going on vacation to korea and japan! i get to see emiiiiiiiiiii!!!!
8. chenga's gonna take my shift AND lemme borrow some warm clothes
9. there's no more blizzarding on the east coast, so i won't have to wait days until they reopen jfk
10. there's gonna be a "heatwave" on the east coast...a big high of 40 degrees!

it's been a good day.
and i am so addicted to blogging now. aiyiyi.

2003-02-17T14:24:00.000-08:00

i had to ask don for this one, but it was good: God please save us from your followers

now there's some fat to chew. is that how you use that phrase?

2003-02-16T23:14:00.000-08:00

don and i went to the sf peace march/rally today. it was really encouraging and left me hopeful about the outcome of the pending war. well, hopeful that there will be no war. there were a lot of families, and surprisingly a lot of young people...and old ones too. the march started earlier than planned...i kinda felt bad, but when the premarch speakers were bringing their own political agendas, it got weird and i wanted to leave. but for the most part, the speakers were good. not awe-inspiring, but it was cool to see the oakland congresswoman speak. she was the only congressperson to vote against the war. can you believe that? how can God forgive and how will He punish such a prideful nation, bent on destruction?

here are some of the posters i saw:
drop bush, not bombs
no blood for oil
a picture of a dog peeing on a bush (i liked--plus the doggie was really cute)
somewhere in Texas there's a village missing it's idiot
small minds make big wars
if war is inevitable, draft SUV drivers first
checklist for war: +planes, +armies, +tanks, -a reason (pretty clever)
fight plaque not iraq (yeeheehee)
numbers of marchers yesterday all around the world (now that's awe-inspiring)
stop mad cowboy disease
pretzels, not war (i don't think i get this one)
vive la france
imperialism: when a nation tries to control directly or indirectly another nation's social and economic structure (or something like that)
justice or just us? (i liked this one a lot)
what would Jesus/Ghandi/Buddha do?
who would Jesus/Ghandi/Buddha bomb?
impeach the son of a bush
george bush voodoo dolls, $5 (aiyiyi)
got oil?
you may say i'm a dreamer...but i'm not the only one...
moms/teachers/musicians/women in black/families/blondes/vietnam veterans/paws/RNs against war/for peace
how did our oil get under their soil? (this one was pretty good too)
how many lives per gallon? (so sad...)
duct tape and cover
dissent is patriotic
if iraq exported broccoli, we wouldn't be going to war
are you gonna send your twins?
bush is the weakest link (even i thought this was pretty clever)
my favorite: from a 7-year old girl: war is for buttheads
(ahahahahaahahah...marisa, you gotta love that one)

ps. i had to refresh my memory by looking some of these up. 100s of pics are already up from today. amazing.

pps. deborah, what's the national lawyers guild?

2003-02-15T02:00:00.000-08:00

someone from work gave me a belated birthday present today. so sweet! it's a very cute stuffed donkey. i've been having SO much fun with it. i keep asking don if he likes my cute ass. he says yes, it's very hairy. ahahahahaha. how's that for vday? ;).

seriously though, we celebrated our 3-yr in a very ritzy way. thanks don! if you wanna celebrate something big, try cafe strait. or was it strait cafe. pretty good fusion food. just don't get the crepes for dessert--they were yummy, but the only thing i'll prolly remember is that they were toxic-looking. worse than the "food" they have at yoshinoya's.

i felt really fortunate to be able to celebrate with someone speshul this year. props to all you celebrating singlehood! i'm praying that you will find your love.

2003-02-12T00:08:00.000-08:00

i'm deciding to be ambiguous no longer. down with ambiguity! it sucks assmar.

so for a lllllooooonnnnnnggggg long time i was agonizing about moving out. wasn't actually sure i was up for it, wasn't actually sure it was such a great decision. but an opportunity came up to live with my friend and her awesome setup. when that fell through, i began to rethink my decision. nevermind that i've been wanting to move out for 18 months, that i've decided to do it what the hell for 6 months.

and then i rearranged my room. that's all it took. apparently. i'm really happy. i think i will even make more of an effort to be at home.

is this a sign of maturity? ahahahahaahahahaha.

2003-02-05T23:06:00.000-08:00

yesterday a door closed. i was SUPREMELY disappointed. is this a sign? i've always wondered at the significance of circumstance. perhaps a greater prize still awaits. in the meantime, i guess i should take advantage of this "opportunity" to reasses. it's just that i was so excited to get out. and those changes? maybe they should be self-made. and of course, everything just happens to explode at work. ugh. ...does any of this make any sense whatsoever? :P

2003-02-04T00:35:00.000-08:00

hihi. i'm just trying this out. not sure if i'm gonna keep it. i kinda feel like doogie howser or something. is that the point of blogging? except i don't have terribly important things to say.

well there's this. today/yesterday was my birfday, and it was good. very simple. it was kinda weird going to work on the day. it reminded me of high school for some reason. but the coworkers were sweet, AND my superlate visit got cancelled. praise God. sometimes i wonder why things are suddenly going well for me. i hope it's not gonna end soon. i have high hopes for this year. i feel like a lot of good changes are coming. but to those that much is given, much will be expected. i hope i will not fail there.

i think that's good for my first blog. any suggestions? this really is doogiehowsering. they should just call it doogie. or is that copyrighted? "hold on a minute, i gotta doogie." "lemme just finish my doogie." "have you read his doogie?" hmm...now it sounds perverse. nevermind.